Memories Are Made of This

Memories Are Made of This

by PatsBard

Xena, Gabrielle and Argo were borrowed from Universal/Renaissance, etc. This story is not for profit and is intended solely for entertainment purposes.

This story is about two women in love and, though not graphic, may offend certain readers. If you are one of those readers, please go elsewhere.

The wooden staff was a blur in the small, blonde woman's grasp. A snarl of rage twisted her normally smiling face as she slowly, but surely, beat back the six men surrounding her. Between her feet lay the crumpled body of her dark haired companion whose strong features were hidden beneath a red mask of blood. Grunts punctuated solid blows as the blonde woman continued to vent her rage against the men who were trying to reach her friend for a killing blow. Her leg muscles bunched and flexed, and sweat flowed freely from her body as she performed an intricate dance across the still form beneath her, keeping the brigands at bay.

Another flurry of moves and only two men remained standing. With a swift glance between them, fear glistening in their eyes, the men stopped their attack and ran from the madwoman on the roadway. Breathing heavily, her staff held in a white-knuckled grip, Gabrielle slowly shifted her position. She darted her eyes around the dusty road and unconsciously counted the downed brigands. Thirteen.

"Imagine that." The words scraped out of a parched throat. Five were dead, the rest alive, but badly battered and bruised. Several sported broken bones from the merciless pounding of the staff. Xena had killed five and taken down two more before one of the others had come up in her blind spot and clipped her hard behind the ear, knocking her out for the rest of the battle.

Lifting a suddenly shaking hand to her mouth, Gabrielle whistled. Moments later a golden mare trotted into view. Gabrielle allowed her shoulders to slump in momentary relief, then gathered her determination around her like a cloak and led Argo to her fallen mistress. After taking a quick sip from a water skin from the saddlebags, Gabrielle whistled the command for Argo to kneel. Grunting from the effort, she pulled and prodded until Xena was laid across the horse's broad back. In moments the trio was up and gone from the scene, traveling as swiftly as Gabrielle dared, back to the campsite that they had left only a few short hours before.

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Okay. Do not panic. It's just a headache. Gods, it's dark out...no, wait. My eyes are closed. Got it. Okay, let's open them slowly and see what we've got out there. Here we go...slowly now....

"Xena! Oh, thank the gods you're awake! You had me worried for a while there, but you've got such a hard head, and I know I shouldn't worry at all, but you know how I am, and...." the small blonde's babbling speech trailed off as the other woman's start of surprise and widened blue eyes finally registered. "Are you okay?" The question was asked hesitantly as azure eyes stared blankly into her own, a hint of fear in their depths.

That answers that the other woman thought, trying unsuccessfully to quell the uneasiness she was suddenly feeling. My name is Xena and I got whacked on the head. She ran dazed eyes over the woman in front of her, wondering who on earth she was. Strawberry-blonde hair, light green eyes filled with concern, really cute nose, soft, pink lips...she stopped her examination abruptly as her eyes dipped to full breasts hidden beneath a short, green top and an amazingly arousing muscled bare midriff. "Oh gods." She snapped her gaze back up to puzzled green eyes, hoping against hope that the flush she felt crawling up her cheeks wasn't visible.

"Who are you?" The question popped out of her mouth harshly, much harsher than she had intended. She raised her hand to touch the blonde woman's arm lightly in an effort to soften the question. And pulled it back quickly as a jolt of fire ran through her at the silky smoothness of it.

Gabrielle tilted her head slightly and frowned. Reaching out her own hand, she pushed the bangs out of Xena's eyes, then lightly caressed the wound behind her right ear. Seeing only a slight wince on the other woman's face, she breathed a sigh of relief that the wound wasn't as bad as it had looked. "My name is Gabrielle." She paused when there was no flicker of recognition in the blue gaze staring back at her. "Can you remember anything?"

Xena let the woman's soft voice roll over her and concentrated a moment on the tender caress of fingers running through her hair. Her eyes drifted shut as she searched her mind for something...anything. Her eyes snapped back open in panic. "I don't remember anything! There's nothing there!" She pushed herself upright, then fell back as a sharp pain stabbed the side of her head.

"Hush now. Take it easy." Gabrielle pushed away her own panic as she ran soothing touches up and down Xena's arms. When sky blue eyes wide with fear met hers, she gave up any pretense of casual interest and wrapped Xena in her arms. She rocked the taller woman in her arms and rubbed her back in calming circles. She kept up a babble of soothing words and touches until she finally felt the trembling ease and Xena's breathing deepen into sleep. Easing her back down to the bedroll, she tucked a blanket over the sleeping woman and settled back on her heels to think.

Running a practiced gaze over the campsite and mentally evaluating their supplies, she realized that they could stay in this secluded spot for another week or so before having to find a town to replenish their supplies. The canopy of trees overhead provided protection from the short summer showers, the river nearby meant water wouldn't be a problem, and they had plenty of foodstuffs in their saddlebags to last them a while. Though Xena usually was the one who hunted or set snares to enhance their meals, Gabrielle could also do so when she had no other choice. Gabrielle only took over the hunting when Xena was too injured to do it herself which, thank the gods, didn't happen very often. She smiled to herself as she remembered Xena laughingly telling her that she set free enough animals to feed a small army, could she at least keep one rabbit for the stewpot. She had pouted until the tall warrior finally chucked her under her chin and told her that she would take care of the hunting end as long as Gabrielle took care of the cooking end.

Sighing heavily, she rose from her cramped position and went to the circle of stones that held the campfire. A larger stone near the edge held a pot of water and she carefully added dried meats and vegetables to it for dinner. After checking Argo's food and water supply, she went back to check on her patient. Green eyes clouded over with worry as she wondered just how much the strong warrior had forgotten. And how long it would be before the memories came back. How many of her fighting skills were so deeply ingrained that she wouldn't need to remember how to use them if she needed to; they would just be there for her. And was there any of the darkness lingering in that sharp mind to come lashing out unexpectedly. How much should Gabrielle tell her when she woke up with the inevitable questions about her past? And the questions she was sure to ask about their relationship.

Gabrielle hugged her knees to her as she thought about that last question. Hmmm. That could be interesting...she smiled and shook off the thought. No, leave it the way it is. Best friends who travel the countryside together helping those in need and righting wrongs. Best friends who comfort each other in pain and provide companionship and protection for each other through their adventures together. And we sleep together out of habit from the cold winter months, she grinned to herself. No sense in denying herself that small bit of comfort.

The sun was setting when she finished eating. Xena showed no signs of awakening, so Gabrielle cleaned up the small mess she had made and put everything away. Taking up her staff, she eased into the woods to make sure they were still alone. Although not as stealthy as Xena, Gabrielle was still much quieter than most people as she continued the perimeter check. All was peaceful and still, so she made her way back to camp, snuck Argo an apple (no need for Xena to know she was spoiling her horse!), and then changed into a sleep shirt. Taking great care not to wake her companion, she snuggled into the bedroll and draped herself comfortably over her friend. Within moments, she was asleep.

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Xena awoke hours later to a feeling of heaviness on her stomach and chest. There was a tickling sensation on her nose and she smiled slightly as her hand met with hair while on its way to scratch her nose. She opened her eyes and smoothed the blonde hair away from her face, then smiled wider as she noted the head in the crook of her shoulder, and the muscled arm flung across her waist. A glance at the stars showed it was still a few hours from daybreak and she wondered fleetingly how she knew that. The pain in her head had settled to a small throb and she tentatively touched the bump behind her ear. A grimace of satisfaction crossed her features when she found it to be tender, but not painfully so.

She shifted slightly and her expression softened as she was rewarded with a sleepy mumble from her companion who shifted with her. The hand on her stomach moved and clasped her side, gripping in an unconscious hug, then loosening again. Lovers maybe? The thought startled her and she laid her head back considering. Gabrielle...she lost herself for a moment, running the name through her mind, liking the sound of it...touched her with gentle, loving hands. She hadn't missed the joy in those beautiful green eyes upon seeing her awake earlier. And she had not missed the answering flush to her perusal when she was trying to remember the young woman. There had been no hesitation to hold her when she had panicked at the thought of not being able to remember anything of her past or who she was. And the caresses on her arms and back had not seemed to be those of mere friends, nor were the words the woman had breathed into her ear as she was trying to comfort her. She smiled slightly at the thought.

She let her glance sift through the organized campsite. A large, golden mare was tethered off to the side munching contentedly on grass, saddle and saddlebags on the ground a few feet from her. The campfire, set in its ring of stones, had burned down to glowing embers. Tilting her head to the right, she saw a stack of leather and armor placed close to her. A heavy sword rested on top of the pile with a round shiny thing leaning up against it. She frowned slightly as she realized that the weapons were placed within easy reach of her hands, should she need them. Who am I then, to need weapons and armor close to hand and yet have a soft, lovely woman sleeping with me? A wry smile as she answered herself...a soft, lovely woman whom you probably have to guard with your life to keep lust-crazed men away from!

Her thoughts led her back to the woman reclining so comfortably on her and she continued the perusal she had started earlier. A sleep shirt now covered the muscled stomach, but she could still see the hard strength of it in her mind's eye. A bare, bent leg covered her left one and an eyebrow rose as she noted the thick thigh and calf muscles. She even has muscles on the top of her foot, she realized and grinned as she also realized that the foot in question only came to mid-shin. Either she's really short or I'm really tall, she mused. A yawn interrupted her and she stretched as surreptitiously as she could so as not to wake Gabrielle. Settling comfortably again, she placed her hand over the other woman's and twined their fingers together. She wrapped her other hand around a soft shoulder and sighed contentedly as she drifted back into slumber.

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Gabrielle awoke to a feeling of being trapped. A heavy weight was across her shoulders and she couldn't move the fingers of her right hand. Her right arm was trapped by the weight of her own body on top of it. She opened her eyes and blinked slowly to clear the sleep from them, and then shifted her shoulders experimentally. A mumble came from just above her head and she smiled as she realized it was Xena's arm on her back. She lifted her head slightly to find her hand and her smile widened when she saw it tightly entwined in Xena's long, slender fingers. I think I like this, she thought smugly. Her dark haired warrior usually kept her right arm stretched down along her side when they slept like this and only wrapped her left arm around Gabrielle because it was uncomfortable to have it anywhere else. It was amazing how one slight alteration in positions could change your entire outlook on life.

A change in the rise and fall of the chest beneath her ear notified her that the warrior was awake and she shifted to look at her face. Sparkling blue eyes smiled down at her and she smiled back. "Morning."

"Morning, yourself," came the answer, in a voice still deep with sleep. The dark head dipped down and shocked Gabrielle with a light kiss on the lips. Green eyes widened and Xena's grin faded. "I - I'm sorry...." she finally stuttered out. "We don't...I mean...I thought...I didn't mean to offend you. I just thought...." she stammered to a close and flung an arm across a beet-red face. She groaned in embarrassment and waited for a deluge of outrage to come from the small blonde. Xena kept her arm defensively in place as she felt Gabrielle sit up, their hands having separated when Xena had flung her arm up. When no words were forthcoming, she risked a glance at the other woman. Gabrielle's mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out. "Speechless?" she offered tentatively.

Gabrielle continued to stare down at her best friend, shock vying with tremors of warmth for control of her body. The uncharacteristic look of chagrin and embarrassment on Xena's face served to remind her that the warrior had lost her memory and really had no clue of what their relationship was. Or wasn't. "I'll be right back." She rose quickly and valiantly tried to keep Xena's mortified expression from sending her right back into the warrior's arms.

After a few stumbles from suddenly weak legs, she made it to the saddlebags to dig out her scroll case and the pan she had put away the previous night. Resolutely keeping her eyes away from Xena, she set the case down next to the warrior then escaped to the river, pan clenched tightly in her hand.

Xena sat up slowly after watching the younger woman's flight from the camp. "Never, ever assume, Xena," she scolded herself out loud. "Oh gods." She cast her eyes around the camp and settled it on the horse. Overwhelmed with the need to do something, anything, she made her way to the saddlebags and began searching. She found the curry brush with a feeling akin to triumph and proceeded to brush down an already gleaming gold coat.

"Hey, girl. What's your name, huh?" Xena kept up a stream of inconsequential words as she brushed down the horse and, at the same time, calmed her own trembling form. "Well, I guess it's safe to assume that you love me," she laughed to the horse, who kept nuzzling her with occasional soft nickers and snorts.

Some instinct stilled her motions and she glanced around with wary eyes. No tension or sense of danger, just...she looked toward the path that headed to the river and watched with some relief as Gabrielle rounded a corner and came back to the camp. "Guess I know when she's around, huh, girl?" she whispered to the horse who answered by stomping her feet and nodding a graceful head. Giving the horse a final pat, she turned and walked back to the bedroll to wait for the blonde to speak. Hopefully.

"Are you hungry?"

She hadn't been until that soft, lilting voice mentioned it. She grinned and nodded, then realized that Gabrielle wasn't looking at her. The grin disappeared. "Yes, please." She winced inwardly at the meekness in her tone. Somehow, she didn't think warriors were supposed to sound meek. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm famished actually," she added in a much stronger voice.

She was rewarded with a smile as Gabrielle finally met her eyes. "That's a good sign. How does your head feel?"

Xena reached up and felt the bump, somewhat surprised to find it hardly hurt at all and had shrunk considerably in size. Both eyebrows rose as she looked at the blonde woman. "Much better. The bump's almost gone." Her eyes questioned and Gabrielle smiled wider.

"You're a fast healer, Xena. One of your many skills."

Xena smiled back, then jumped to her feet. "Hey, do you need any help?" She reached the smaller woman in two strides and was unaccountably pleased to see that Gabrielle only came to her shoulder when they stood face to face.

Gabrielle laughed and automatically pushed against Xena's shoulder teasingly. "Cooking is not one of your many skills, my warrior friend. Stay away from the food. You hunt; I cook."

Xena felt a wave of relief hit her at the playful tone in Gabrielle's voice. She'd been afraid that she had wrecked everything with that kiss earlier. "So, do you want me to hunt?" she finally asked shyly.

Gabrielle was taken aback slightly when she heard the shyness in the question. Xena wasn't shy about anything...she stopped herself short. No, the ex-warlord Xena wasn't shy about anything. This Xena didn't have a clue about what was expected of her. Or what she expected from herself. Gabrielle gasped at the sudden realization that she was being gifted with the Xena who might have been, had an evil warlord never entered her life and sent her on a path of destruction, violence, and hatred. A Xena who didn't know anger, bitterness, and pain. Fear struck her just as suddenly and she wrapped her arms around a very startled warrior. A Xena who had no idea the number of people who were out in the world just waiting for the chance to destroy her in the most painful ways they could think of. An innocent Xena who had no idea that her survival instincts could kick in at any time and kill someone.

"Oh, gods. What am I going to do?"

"Gabrielle?" Xena was more than happy to hang on to the young woman, but she had seen the fear in those green eyes right before the crushing hug and she really needed to know the cause. She gently unwrapped herself and lifted Gabrielle's face so she could see the look in her eyes. "What is it? What's wrong?"

With great effort, Gabrielle gathered her thoughts together and came to her decision. She had to know who she was...what she was...but not just yet. "It's okay, Xena. Get cleaned up and we'll eat first. Then I'll tell you everything I know about you."

It took a bit more persuading, but she finally sent Xena to the river with soap, towels, and her leathers. And a gentle admonishment that, no, she didn't need her to go hunting. They had plenty for now. And, yes, she really was fine. She had just realized something that concerned her and they would talk about it later.

Gabrielle let her mind wander as she started up another pot of stew and set another, smaller pan to the side to steep tea in. It didn't take long at all for the memory of that brief kiss to come to the fore and she blushed lightly. What a nice way to start the day. She hugged herself in remembered warmth, then tried to think what she had done for Xena to come to the conclusion that they were...more than friends. Even now she couldn't let her mind go any further than that. Too dangerous, and much too tempting. She ran through all of her actions from the night before and frowned in confusion. She hadn't done anything she had never done before.

She sat down by the fire and hugged her knees to herself. A hand snaked out every now and then to stir the food, but her concentration was elsewhere. Her eyes lit up with inspiration. She was going about this wrong. She was thinking about everything as if Xena knew her. She had to place herself in Xena's position as a complete stranger. She ran through the events again making an effort not to impose her own feelings and knowledge of their friendship.

Uneasy blue eyes traveling over her body for a hint of recognition, a spark of something in their depths that definitely hadn't been recognition, but something else...admiration? Desire? Oh, don't go there, Gabrielle. The flush on Xena's face stubbornly stayed in her mind's eye and the way she had jerked back after touching her arm. Oh, yes. They had both felt that little jolt. Touching Xena's wound tenderly while asking her what she could remember. The panic in those beautiful blue eyes when Xena had realized all her memories were gone, and Gabrielle instinctively pulling her close in a comforting hug, caressing her back and hair.

Gabrielle felt a deep flush rise in her cheeks as she replayed the scene and heard herself speak comforting words to the scared woman in her arms. "Don't worry, Xena. I've got you. Nothing to be afraid of. Hush, my love, hush. Everything's going to be okay. Sleep, love. You're safe here. Hush, love. That's it, my warrior. Sleep now."

"Oh, gods above! No wonder she thought that we were lovers!" Gabrielle clamped a hand over her mouth, then heaved a deep sigh of relief when she saw Xena was still gone and hadn't heard her. She pulled the now cooked stew away from the fire and went to Argo and gave her more water. She ran an absent-minded hand down Argo's flanks and leaned her head against the white mane. "Here I thought I was doing so well at hiding my feelings for her, and at the first little glimpse of her needing me, I spill it out for the world to see." She flushed again as she pictured them sleeping together this morning. "I guess calling her 'my love' and sprawling all over her was kind of obvious, huh, Argo."

A twig snapped causing Gabrielle to spin around with her heart in her throat. Xena stood awkwardly a few feet away, slowly knotting and unknotting the sleep shirt in her strong hands. She shrugged and twisted her lips in a half smile. "I guess walking really quiet is another of my many skills."

Gabrielle laughed nervously and stepped away from Argo, smoothing her skirt with hands that needed to do something other than what they really wanted. Like, caress that strong jawbone or feel the power of the muscles that she could see flexing under the deep brown of Xena's leathers. "You've been here a while?" she finally asked uncertainly.

Xena thought for a moment, then shrugged again. "Since the 'hiding my feelings' part." Taking pity on the embarrassed woman, she turned and went to sit by the fire. This must have been the reason for her fear earlier, she decided. She was afraid that I'd find out she really does love me that way. And she was afraid of my reaction. Why would she be afraid of that if I feel the same way?

She shook away the thoughts as Gabrielle came to sit beside her and ladled the stew into two wooden bowls. They ate in awkward silence, then cleaned up the dishes in the same silence. Xena resorted to playing with the laces of her boots to keep her gaze from the other woman and sighed heavily.

"Xena...."

"Gabrielle...." They shared a smile and Xena gestured for Gabrielle to go ahead. Gabrielle shook her head and motioned back at her. "I...I know I'm missing a lot of ...things," she paused and glanced over to see Gabrielle eyeing her intently. She took a deep breath and continued, "But I think I may feel the same way you do. You're very beautiful, you know." She glanced at her companion again and saw reddened cheeks. Gabrielle turned her head away.

"No, Xena. I'm just the little bard from Poteidaia. A naive peasant girl who follows you around and annoys you."

Xena caught a flash of memory and scowled in concentration to bring it into focus. Another campfire, a bowl of something that was supposed to be stew, but tasted horrendous, a very young woman coming out of the darkness at her command. Her own voice telling that girl that she would take her home in the morning, but she could stay for the night. Flinging a blanket at a scared, relieved face, then hearing the soft voice muttering ‘I'll just follow you again anyway.’ Felt something easing in her chest at the thought that, for at least one night, she wouldn't be alone.

"Xena? Are you all right?" Xena came back to the present with a dull ache in her forehead.

"A memory, I think. You came to my camp and I gave you a blanket. Told you I would take you home the next day." She paused and grinned. "I take it, it didn't work?"

Gabrielle grinned back. "Nope, I followed you around like a lost puppy, Xena. You finally gave up trying to scare me off!"

They just grinned at each other for a while until Xena remembered something else, from their recent conversation. "You're a bard?"

"Yeah." Gabrielle stretched her body backwards to retrieve her scroll case, not noticing Xena suck in her breath and stare with wide eyes at her taut stomach muscles. Xena popped her mouth back into place before Gabrielle looked at her again. "Hey, I can read you my stories and see if that helps."

Xena couldn't help but laugh at the excited sparkle in Gabrielle's eyes. "I like your eyes." The admission came hesitantly and Gabrielle blushed again.

"Yeah, well, I like yours, too."

Silence descended again as Xena went back to studying her bootlaces and Gabrielle tapped her scroll case against her knee. "So...." Xena ventured, "How are stories going to help me?"

"You, my Warrior Princess, are the hero in all of them!" Gabrielle went into full bard mode and stood to give herself pacing room. She liked lots of room to weave her stories. Xena leaned back and waited patiently. "And, I'll have you know, all these stories are true and I'll prove it to you if you don't believe me! So listen closely. I sing a song of Xena...."

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Xena, Warrior Princess, laid flat on her stomach on her bedroll, her chin tucked in her hands, eyes wide in wonder. Every now and then she would raise her chin up and speak. "I did not!"

"Yes, you did. Now hush." And Gabrielle would continue to weave impossible stories about an impossibly strong, impossibly brave, impossibly beautiful hero who traveled the land with her trusty bard/Amazon Princess/Amazon Queen/staff-wielding sidekick helping those in need and righting wrongs.

In the space of hours, Xena laughed and cried, raged and wept, had her heart broken then lovingly mended again, and laughed and cried some more. Gabrielle finally wound down. Even pausing every so often to get a drink to relieve a parched throat couldn't keep the exhaustion of non-stop marathon storytelling at bay.

Xena flipped over to her back and patted the spot next to her. "C'mere, bard. Rest."

Gabrielle flopped down and stretched in exquisite relief. "Oh gods! I never thought telling stories would take so much out of me!" She curled up into Xena's side with a heartfelt sigh. Then popped her head back up. "This is okay, isn't it? I mean, I can move...." Fingers on her lips stilled her and she smiled up into soft blue eyes that turned her insides into melted butter.

"Hush, love." A soft kiss, then a hand gently pressed her head into a strong shoulder. Two heartfelt sighs this time, and Gabrielle let herself drift away into peaceful sleep.

Night had fallen when the warrior and her bard awoke next. Gabrielle set about preparing the fire for dinner while Xena went to test her fishing skills. She still didn't believe she could catch fish with her bare hands, but she couldn't resist the urge to try it.

A loud whoop from the direction of the river startled Gabrielle so badly she dropped the frying pan and had to clean it again. She rolled her eyes at Argo and laughed. "I guess she caught one." She listened closely to the sound of pounding feet, frowning slightly when she heard gaps in the steps, then grinning when the form of her long-limbed companion came into view. Running, flipping, and leaping, an exuberant Xena landed in the campsite and deposited four wriggling trout at the laughing bard's feet.

"It worked!" Her grin was the widest Gabrielle had ever seen and the blue eyes danced with unabashed happiness. Gabrielle was swept up into strong arms and twirled around the fire until she was dizzy.

Still laughing uncontrollably, she pounded her small fists on the warrior's shoulders until Xena relented and let her down. The slow slide down a warm, leather-clad body effectively stopped her giggles and she stared wide-eyed up at her warrior. The grin softened to a slow, seductive smile then her mouth was captured in a tender kiss. "Mmmm....that was nice," she murmured a short while later. She brought her hand up quickly to forestall Xena's next swoop and tapped her lips lightly with a finger. Xena kissed the finger lightly and grinned again. "All right, you. Now go clean the fish so we can eat."

It was a companionable silence this time as they lounged by the fire. Their bellies were full, Argo was taken care of, and they rested in the contented stillness. Xena was propped up on the saddle she had dragged over for a backrest and Gabrielle was tucked nicely along her curves.

Xena let the silence drift for a while, but her thoughts were beginning to whirl and she felt a tension creeping up on her. "What is it?" She tilted her head down and lost herself for a moment in soft green eyes. A soft hand rubbed her stomach through the leathers and Xena let her gaze rove out to the trees again, but she wasn't really seeing them.

"Gabrielle, did my life start with you?"

Gabrielle felt the question settle in the pit of her stomach. Wishing against wish that she could say yes and mean it. "No."

"You've told me some stories of when I was a child, and stories of Hercules helping me. And stories of traveling with you," Xena paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "There's quite a gap, isn't there." It wasn't a question. "You've told me stories of your whole life, but only part of mine."

Gabrielle sat up slowly and rested her chin on her knees for a moment. "I don't know all of it, Xena." She stared blindly into the fire and wondered fleetingly if you could burn memories away in flames. She could feel Xena's eyes boring into her and sighed heavily. "You were not...a nice person. A warlord attacked your village when you were fifteen and you fought against him."

Xena felt a coldness settle in her chest as the soft voice continued on about a child trying to protect her village, changing irrevocably into a woman who devastated the countryside in the name of peace and protection. Forcing people to teach her what she needed to know to be the best warrior the world had ever seen, then cruelly abandoning them after they had served their purpose. Some she left alive but broken, others had the mercy of death at her hands. Alive or dead, those people were placed in positions so they could not teach anyone else what they knew.

Tears of anguish flowed from Xena's eyes as the bard numbly continued her tale. Gabrielle tried to keep to the bare facts, but her bard's heart was strong and she painted a vision of horror and cruelty that would have brought Xena to her knees had she been standing. Her voice continued to flow over the warrior and Xena could hear, in parts of the tale, the compassion of her bard as she tried to ease the pain by giving insights and possible reasons for her actions. Betrayal, pain, grief, Ares...but Xena knew in her own heart that there was no excuse.

The fire had burned to embers by the time Gabrielle finished. Ending it at the part where Hercules had stepped in and saved Xena from herself. And saved the world from Xena.

"The rest I've told already." Gabrielle's voice was hoarse from overwork, but to Xena it sounded as if it was hoarse with hate. Her mind was overflowing with the visions painted in her head and she leapt away from the fire with a wrenching cry.

"Xena!" Gabrielle leapt after her, cursing herself for letting her gift of storytelling overcome the need to reintroduce Xena to her life as gently as possible. She thanked every god she could think of for providing the moonlight to see Xena's trail by, and for Xena being so upset that she forgot how to be quiet as she ran. She didn't hear the whispered 'you’re welcome' in the wind as she continued to follow her distraught companion.

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Xena lay in a crumpled pile by the river. Her hands were scraped raw from slamming into every tree she could find and she was covered in dirt and twigs from falling down a crevice that had been hidden in the darkness. Tearstains covered her face and she slept in exhaustion from the emotions that had overwhelmed her.

Gabrielle paid no attention to the mud sucking at her heels as she finally reached the fallen warrior. Keeping a safe distance, not knowing Xena's state of mind, she crouched down and called her name over and over until she saw bloodshot eyes appear.

"Gabrielle."

Gabrielle choked back a sob and crossed the space between them. She flung her arms around the dirt-stained woman and hugged the breath out of her. Tears ran unchecked from two sets of eyes as Gabrielle murmured words of endearments into the battered warrior's ear, never ceasing her caresses as she tried to force every bit of love she felt into the dark woman's heart. Xena held on with a grip of iron, deathly afraid she would lose everything if she let go.

It seemed like hours, but only moments had passed when the two women eased up on their death grips. Not wanting to let entirely go, they each ran hands up and down the others’ body checking for wounds or broken bones. Finally satisfied, they sat holding hands watching the sun come up over the river.

"Well, we're quite the pair," Gabrielle stated with a small laugh. Covered from head to toe in dirt and sitting in the biggest mud puddle she'd seen in quite some time.

Xena chuckled ruefully as she scraped mud from the sides of her boots. "Yes, well, I don't do anything small, you know."

Gabrielle smiled and tilted her head. "Are you okay?" Xena took so long to answer that Gabrielle thought she hadn't heard the question.

"Yes, Gabrielle, I'm fine." She leaned her head wearily against the smaller woman's shoulder, then pressed a small kiss on the only clean spot she could find. Oddly enough, it was right behind a very sensitive ear. A smile curved her lips as she felt the slight shudder go through Gabrielle's frame.

"Mmmm, me, too. Now."

Xena smiled again as she tugged the smaller woman to her feet. "C'mon. Let's get back to camp and clean up. It's going to take me days to get this leather cleaned."

They started the long hike back to the campsite, Gabrielle wondering how many times she could get away with dumping more mud on her partner's leathers, and Xena wondering if she could get away with only cleaning her leathers an inch at a time.

"Gabrielle." They had made it halfway back when Xena broke the silence. "I remember everything now." She carefully kept all traces of emotion off her face.

Gabrielle stopped in her tracks, fear coursing through her. When? It couldn't have been by the river. I felt her kiss me. As we were walking? Why didn't she say something? Then she mentally slapped herself. She did say something, you idiot. "Oh, really?" she managed to say out loud, her voice sounding weak to her own ears. "It came back just now?" she added hopefully, jogging to catch back up with Xena who hadn't stopped.

"No. Last night. About halfway through my rampage through the woods."

"Oh." Another weak response, but Gabrielle just couldn't manage to say anything more.

They continued the long, silent walk, Gabrielle wondering if she should just throw herself into the river and put herself out of her misery, and Xena wondering if she should just throw Gabrielle into the river and show her how much fun a real bath could be.

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Xena eyed Gabrielle with some amusement as the bard sorted through the saddlebags for spare shifts. Normally sure and steady, Gabrielle's hands were now trembling slightly. It took a few moments longer than it should have for her to work the clasp, then pull open the bags. Just as Xena was about to offer some help, she managed to come up with the items they needed and turned around. Still trying to control a smile, Xena walked slowly up to her bard and tugged on one of the shifts.

"Speechless?" she drawled out casually.

Gabrielle kept her gaze firmly on a tree just past Xena's shoulder. "No, no. Just happy everything is back to normal." She tried to return Xena's smile, but failed miserably as she felt a flush travel up her cheeks. The last time she had been speechless, Xena had just kissed her. Gods how she wished none of that had happened...no, that wasn't right. She was glad it had happened. It had felt good to be held and caressed by someone who truly thought they loved her, someone who didn't think she was still a naive little girl from Poteidaia.

She felt the tears welling up and turned away from Xena abruptly. "I - I'm going to go get cleaned up." Not waiting for an answer, she turned and fled to the riverbank leaving a bemused warrior staring after her.

Xena followed slowly after the upset bard, her amusement fading as she realized that Gabrielle was really distraught, and not just nervous. Her brow furrowed in a frown and she racked her brain trying to decide what to do or say. Her normal way to try to dispel Gabrielle's bad moods was rough affection or jokes, but she knew that this situation was a far cry from the ordinary. This required delicacy and tact, both of which the warrior was sadly lacking in.

She made her way just downstream from Gabrielle, pretending not to notice how the small blonde submerged herself to her shoulders to hide her naked form. Sighing heavily, she removed her leathers and began the arduous task of cleaning them. She took great care to keep her gaze away from her suddenly shy companion and the moments passed in uncomfortable silence. She finally finished the leathers and briskly scrubbed herself down, giving up for the moment on trying to come up with something to say. Gabrielle had left for their camp by the time she had finished her cold bath and she sighed heavily again as she made her own solitary walk back.

Their midday meal passed in much the same fashion. Afterwards Gabrielle grabbed her scrolls and went to the bedroll to write and Xena decided to sharpen her neglected sword. Listening to the soothing scrape of the whetstone against metal, she suddenly had an idea.

"Gabrielle?"

The bard looked up with startled eyes, then looked back down at the empty scroll in her hands. "Yes?"

"If I remember correctly, there were six men left when I was knocked out," she paused for a moment. "How did you keep them from finishing me off?" A nice, safe subject to get the conversation going again.

"I just kept beating them off until they finally gave up." Gabrielle tried really hard to keep the proud smile off her face, but Xena's wide-eyed stare just made it turn into a grin.

"Six of them?!" Xena let her jaw drop to emphasize her astonishment. She needed to get Gabrielle to loosen up and nothing did it better than to get her boasting about something. And she was really curious to find out how Gabrielle had managed to protect her. "What if they had surrounded you?"

Gabrielle smirked and polished her fingernails nonchalantly. "Oh, they tried," she retorted airily. "I just kept you under my feet and walloped the Tartarus out of them. After I knocked out four of them, the last two high-tailed it out of there." She was grinning broadly now, her eyes sparkling with suppressed laughter. It hadn't been funny at the time, but remembering the looks on the would-be brigands' faces before they had taken off...well, it was hysterical. Big, bad men running away from a little bard with a stick!

Xena was smiling, too, as Gabrielle finally met her gaze. She let her admiration for her bard show in her eyes, then another thought occurred to her. "How did you keep from tripping over me?"

Gabrielle jumped up and quickly rolled up their bedding. "This…" she stated with a dramatic wave of her arm, "…is you." She straddled the mound of bedding with a foot on either side. Her hands held out as if she were holding a staff, she began an intricate dance over the bedroll, twisting and turning in midair as she faced in different directions fending off imaginary attackers. Her feet never touched the bedroll as she maneuvered over it and Xena watched her, mesmerized. "Like that," she finished with a flourish.

"Wow! That was great!"

Gabrielle flushed at the unexpected praise and smiled shyly. "You really think so?"

"Yes, Gabrielle, I do." Xena set aside her sword and whetstone and walked over to touch her bard lightly on the shoulder. "You saved my life,” she continued softly.

Gabrielle lost herself in a blue sea, tremors of warmth flooding through her at the tender touch and the soft words. "You would have done the same for me," she whispered. Her lips parted slightly as Xena's gaze dropped to them, and she held her breath.

Slowly, so slowly, giving Gabrielle every chance to turn away, Xena lowered her mouth to the soft lips waiting for her. Their velvet softness entranced her and she spent delicious moments tracing their shape with her tongue until Gabrielle melted against her with a whimpering cry. All thoughts of control and tenderness vanished as the two women gave in to their need. Hands caressing, kneading, pinching, and lips devouring eager flesh, the warrior and her bard gave in to long suppressed emotions.

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Much, much later, a spent couple lay sprawled on the ground, chests still heaving from exertion.

"Xena?"

"Mmmm?"

"Let's not wait so long next time, okay?"

Two very self-satisfied grins, then the couple drifted off into much needed sleep.

The End

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